Our culture uses the word love in many ways. Those unfamiliar with our language would be uncertain as to its real meaning. The word is used in reference to food, sports, animals, jobs, people, and so much more. One may say casually that they love pizza and then say in a more serious tone that they love a child. The broad use of the word creates problems when we probe the depth of the word. What is love?
Paul describes and defines love in I Corinthians 13. He uses a form of the Greek word “agape” throughout the chapter. This is the Greek word used by Jesus in John 3:16 to describe the love of God. It is a word that expresses the nature of God. It is a word that is based on decision and not emotion. One Bible dictionary describes this love as “not an impulse from the feelings” (Vines, 382). It is, rather, a love lavished on someone who is unworthy. It is the word used in Ephesians 5:25 when the Bible commands husbands to love their wives. Loving another is a command we follow and not a feeling we fall into. One does not fall in and out of love – one chooses to love. Love is a decision.
So what is love? I Corinthians 13 describes love in terms of action verbs. Love can be measured best by how one lives rather than what one says. Love is seen in behavior and attitude. Love is sensed in daily living. To declare one’s love through words, though important, cannot compete with showing one’s love through actions. Words are hollow when actions are absent. Again, how does the Bible define love?
In the New Living Translation of I Corinthians 13, it says: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (I Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT).
Valentine’s is a good season to examine the quality and depth of love. Are you impatient? Are you kind? Are you jealous or proud? Do you treat your spouse rudely? Do you demand your way in most decisions? Do you get irritated easily by your spouse? Do you remember the times he or she wronged you? Do you hang onto the bitterness or offer forgiveness? Do you rejoice in lies or practice deceit? Do you lose heart easily? Are you quick to give up on marriage or family? Do you persevere through difficult circumstances?
A gift or card this Valentine’s Day would be a wonderful gesture of love. A changed attitude that is strengthened by God would be even better. This love described is possible through the help of Jesus Christ. We can choose to love the one we are married to right now. Today. Decide to love.